Energy and Place
Essential Questions
How does energy production impact place?
How does your sense of place, environmental ethic and understanding of our energy needs influence your perception and decisions regarding energy production.
Click HERE to view my "Energy and Place" chemistry project.
Project Reflection
For this project we completed a handful of assignments in class to familiarize ourselves with this type of creative writing. We were given an inspiration journal and journal prompts to help get the inspiration flowing. It was through this assignment that I figured out what I wanted to write about and how I would shape my essay. We looked at examples of essays written in "the grand style" and past student examples to give us an idea of what the written part might look like. To help us figure out what our individual environmental ethic was we listened to a number of guest speakers talk about the environment and energy production.
I had a relatively easy time writing this essay and was proud of what I submitted as a first draft. I have always known that I have a special connection to the land that I wrote about and so picking my sense of place wasn't too difficult. I spent a while trying to figure out how to artistically incorporate my environmental ethic into the essay and eventually after playing around with words was able to fit it in. After writing this essay I feel that I have a much deeper and more mature connection to the place where I grew up. I spent a lot of time thinking of the memories I have there and how the landscape has unmistakably changed in the years that have passed. Ashley provided me with great feedback and making refinements was relatively painless. I was very excited to turn this essay in an am extremely proud of what I did for this project.
For my visual piece I decided to paint in watercolor a photo of my sister dancing through the trees of our old home. I have never done an actual watercolor piece and for my first time I think I did an okay job. At the end of this project, though, I can say that I am most proud of my writing piece. When I let my mother read it I watched tears run down her face and then listened as she pushed me to expand the essay and use it for my college applications. I think that the strongest part of my essay is the way that I use descriptive and creative writing to describe my sense of place and show the connection I have to the place where I grew up.
Incorporating chemistry into this essay was a bit of a challenge because, when dealing with anything scientific I am accustomed to writing technically and adding that into a creative piece felt a bit strange. I really enjoyed this project and value what I have taken from it, however, the fact that it was joined with chemistry confused me at times. The concepts match up but both projects have little to do with each other.
I had a relatively easy time writing this essay and was proud of what I submitted as a first draft. I have always known that I have a special connection to the land that I wrote about and so picking my sense of place wasn't too difficult. I spent a while trying to figure out how to artistically incorporate my environmental ethic into the essay and eventually after playing around with words was able to fit it in. After writing this essay I feel that I have a much deeper and more mature connection to the place where I grew up. I spent a lot of time thinking of the memories I have there and how the landscape has unmistakably changed in the years that have passed. Ashley provided me with great feedback and making refinements was relatively painless. I was very excited to turn this essay in an am extremely proud of what I did for this project.
For my visual piece I decided to paint in watercolor a photo of my sister dancing through the trees of our old home. I have never done an actual watercolor piece and for my first time I think I did an okay job. At the end of this project, though, I can say that I am most proud of my writing piece. When I let my mother read it I watched tears run down her face and then listened as she pushed me to expand the essay and use it for my college applications. I think that the strongest part of my essay is the way that I use descriptive and creative writing to describe my sense of place and show the connection I have to the place where I grew up.
Incorporating chemistry into this essay was a bit of a challenge because, when dealing with anything scientific I am accustomed to writing technically and adding that into a creative piece felt a bit strange. I really enjoyed this project and value what I have taken from it, however, the fact that it was joined with chemistry confused me at times. The concepts match up but both projects have little to do with each other.
Korematsu vs. U.S. (1944)
Click here to see the witness testimonies for both of my characters.
Project Reflection
1.
This project was a re-enactment of the Korematsu vs. U.S. Supreme Court trial, which took place in 1944. The defense side was arguing that the Japanese internment camps were unconstitutional and that they didn’t pass the three tests of strict scrutiny. I had two defense witness roles in the trial: Ralph Lazo and Fred Korematsu. For each of my characters I had to write a witness bio. These required some pretty in depth research. In the testimonies I wrote every important detail about their lives up until the actual date of the trial, as well as their personal opinions on the war and Executive Order 9066. In class I read a handful of documents to gather as much historical context as possible before the trial. This was so that I could understand what the U.S. was like during that time and get more into character with both of my roles to get an idea of what they may have been feeling at the time. After sending my testimonies to my lawyer she sent me a list of direct examination questions that she would be asking in the trial. I answered the questions strategically to bring out specific points. For example: Ralph Lazo spent a few years in the Manzanar Internment Camp. He witnessed the injustice that existed within the barbed wire fences and that is what his role sought to display. To prepare for cross-examination I had to think about what my characters knew that could hurt their case. Ex: the fact that Korematsu had violated laws and that Lazo also could have experienced good in his time in the camp. I had to anticipate questions and come up with answers that would make the questions seem irrelevant.
2.
Preparation for the trial started with independent work time, which was great because I was able to set my schedule and finish my work bit by bit. When the time came to start working in teams, I had a little more stress built up on my shoulders because I was depending on my lawyer and she was depending on me too. In general, though, I think that we were a great team and we got the work done in a very timely fashion. In the trial we were a well-oiled machine with one purpose: to destroy the prosecution team. And that we did.
3.
When I started writing my witness testimonies I didn’t know yet what angle I would be taking in the trial, I was just writing the history of my characters. After I turned the testimonies in to my lawyer and we discussed them, I revised each of them to exaggerate specific facts or feelings that gave my characters purpose. For example: after I met with my lawyer the angle that I developed for Fred Korematsu was fear. The reason he violated the civilian exclusion order and got facial reconstruction surgery was because he was afraid of racial discrimination. This helped Fred in the trial because it made people feel sympathy for him.
For Ralph Lazo I met with my lawyer and later revised my testimony to make a point of all of the negative aspects of the internment camps. In the trial he expressed how he thinks that the Friday night dances were a cover up for the fact that the internees were surrounded by guards and barbed wire fences. He felt like a prisoner and made a point of saying so in the trial.
4.
This has been one of my most favorite projects since the start of this school year because of everything that happened through the process. Starting with reading Snow falling on Cedars was a great way to introduce the project and an interesting read. I honestly thoroughly enjoyed gathering all of the historical information throughout the entire project. I had always been curious about that time of this country’s history but had never done the research to satisfy my curiosity, so it was perfect. My favorite part, though, was the fact that we all got to do some acting and had to get into character for each of our roles. The authenticity of the actual courtroom helped quite a bit with the actual exhibition and boosted my ability to keep it cool while on the witness stand. After everything, I am very satisfied with how the entire project and trial turned out.
My only feedback for improvement would be to give the students at least one chance for a dress rehearsal in class. I was prepared enough but still would have felt much more comfortable had I practiced being on the stand once before.
This project was a re-enactment of the Korematsu vs. U.S. Supreme Court trial, which took place in 1944. The defense side was arguing that the Japanese internment camps were unconstitutional and that they didn’t pass the three tests of strict scrutiny. I had two defense witness roles in the trial: Ralph Lazo and Fred Korematsu. For each of my characters I had to write a witness bio. These required some pretty in depth research. In the testimonies I wrote every important detail about their lives up until the actual date of the trial, as well as their personal opinions on the war and Executive Order 9066. In class I read a handful of documents to gather as much historical context as possible before the trial. This was so that I could understand what the U.S. was like during that time and get more into character with both of my roles to get an idea of what they may have been feeling at the time. After sending my testimonies to my lawyer she sent me a list of direct examination questions that she would be asking in the trial. I answered the questions strategically to bring out specific points. For example: Ralph Lazo spent a few years in the Manzanar Internment Camp. He witnessed the injustice that existed within the barbed wire fences and that is what his role sought to display. To prepare for cross-examination I had to think about what my characters knew that could hurt their case. Ex: the fact that Korematsu had violated laws and that Lazo also could have experienced good in his time in the camp. I had to anticipate questions and come up with answers that would make the questions seem irrelevant.
2.
Preparation for the trial started with independent work time, which was great because I was able to set my schedule and finish my work bit by bit. When the time came to start working in teams, I had a little more stress built up on my shoulders because I was depending on my lawyer and she was depending on me too. In general, though, I think that we were a great team and we got the work done in a very timely fashion. In the trial we were a well-oiled machine with one purpose: to destroy the prosecution team. And that we did.
3.
When I started writing my witness testimonies I didn’t know yet what angle I would be taking in the trial, I was just writing the history of my characters. After I turned the testimonies in to my lawyer and we discussed them, I revised each of them to exaggerate specific facts or feelings that gave my characters purpose. For example: after I met with my lawyer the angle that I developed for Fred Korematsu was fear. The reason he violated the civilian exclusion order and got facial reconstruction surgery was because he was afraid of racial discrimination. This helped Fred in the trial because it made people feel sympathy for him.
For Ralph Lazo I met with my lawyer and later revised my testimony to make a point of all of the negative aspects of the internment camps. In the trial he expressed how he thinks that the Friday night dances were a cover up for the fact that the internees were surrounded by guards and barbed wire fences. He felt like a prisoner and made a point of saying so in the trial.
4.
This has been one of my most favorite projects since the start of this school year because of everything that happened through the process. Starting with reading Snow falling on Cedars was a great way to introduce the project and an interesting read. I honestly thoroughly enjoyed gathering all of the historical information throughout the entire project. I had always been curious about that time of this country’s history but had never done the research to satisfy my curiosity, so it was perfect. My favorite part, though, was the fact that we all got to do some acting and had to get into character for each of our roles. The authenticity of the actual courtroom helped quite a bit with the actual exhibition and boosted my ability to keep it cool while on the witness stand. After everything, I am very satisfied with how the entire project and trial turned out.
My only feedback for improvement would be to give the students at least one chance for a dress rehearsal in class. I was prepared enough but still would have felt much more comfortable had I practiced being on the stand once before.
The Morality and Politics of Justice
Op-Ed Article
Are we having a boy or an abortion?
Sarah Anthony
Imagine you are a young girl living in either Northern India or China. Your mother was forced into a marriage with your father whose family received a dowry for her acceptance. You were conceived in hopes you would be a boy; you are unwanted and unprotected. Your family and the society around you consider you a drain of wealth, property, and honor. For women and young girls in thes e countries, this is reality.
It is no secret that many Eastern and Asian countries continue the tradition of pre-arranged marriages. In fact 95% of marriages in Asia are still pre-arranged (World). The bride’s parents typically arrange the marriage through bribery and pay it off with a dowry, forcing women into a lifetime with someone who they may or may not have feelings for. They are held to very high expectations of upholding the house and family: cooking, cleaning, and producing children, preferably a boy. Boys are considered the only ones worthy of getting a job, bringing in money, and inheriting property, while women are considered a drain of recourses and honor. Because of this, the gender ratios in China and Northern India are off the charts with the male gender in the lead, and these statistics are rising each year. In 2000 both China and India recorded about 130 boys born for every 100 girls (The Economist). For the disproportionate gender ratios from the “gendercide” in these developing countries to normalize, women need to be exposed to more opportunities for education.
Two major contributors to this distortion are the illegal sex determination tests and abortions that are taking place under the radar in these countries. It is not uncommon for a woman’s husband and his parents to force her to get a sex determination test. If they come to find out that their unborn child is a girl they may persuade her to get an abortion or, if they can’t afford it, to murder the baby girl immediately after childbirth. (It’s a girl)
Because these women have so many other responsibilities and expectations to which they must live up, they don’t have much time for themselves. Indeed, they are being deprived of the opportunity to pursue education and a career, which could be the heart of the issue.
Women in these countries have little to no exposure to birth control methods and for that reason they are getting pregnant way too often. Because their culture believes that education for women is a waste of time and money, they are not informed of the various methods to protect themselves, their bodies, and their potential children. If they had the opportunity to receive an education, they would most likely know how to protect themselves and their families from this tradition that has spun out of control in their culture. If they were given the tools and knowledge to be in control, people would realize that women do actually have the potential to be just as powerful as men in both a family setting and a business/education setting. This is not an abstract idea; take this country for example.
Women in China and India live in fear of marrying and more importantly getting pregnant. (It’s a girl) They are conscious of the reality in which they are living and know that they are considered a minority within their society. Women are having their basic rights taken away, rights that have been defined by the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In particular, Article 3, which clearly defines what is being taken right out of the hands of women in this culture: “everyone has the right to life, liberty, and security of person.”(UDHR)
This idea is closely related to John Rawls’ idea of the Veil of Ignorance. He said that we should live this life as if were had been covered by a veil and when that veil was lifted we had no definition of social or economic status, we didn’t know what burdens we would be given, and we were completely equal. “The principals of justice are chosen behind a veil of ignorance.” (John) This concept is the cure, theses cultures need equality. One way the U.S. could help promote equality would be for our government to step in and provide funding for the development of women’s education, citizens of this country could individually contribute to organizations such as the “All India Women’s Conference” (AIWC) and the “All China Women’s Federation” (ACWF): organizations that fight for women’s rights and equality amongst men and women.
Word Count: 751
It is no secret that many Eastern and Asian countries continue the tradition of pre-arranged marriages. In fact 95% of marriages in Asia are still pre-arranged (World). The bride’s parents typically arrange the marriage through bribery and pay it off with a dowry, forcing women into a lifetime with someone who they may or may not have feelings for. They are held to very high expectations of upholding the house and family: cooking, cleaning, and producing children, preferably a boy. Boys are considered the only ones worthy of getting a job, bringing in money, and inheriting property, while women are considered a drain of recourses and honor. Because of this, the gender ratios in China and Northern India are off the charts with the male gender in the lead, and these statistics are rising each year. In 2000 both China and India recorded about 130 boys born for every 100 girls (The Economist). For the disproportionate gender ratios from the “gendercide” in these developing countries to normalize, women need to be exposed to more opportunities for education.
Two major contributors to this distortion are the illegal sex determination tests and abortions that are taking place under the radar in these countries. It is not uncommon for a woman’s husband and his parents to force her to get a sex determination test. If they come to find out that their unborn child is a girl they may persuade her to get an abortion or, if they can’t afford it, to murder the baby girl immediately after childbirth. (It’s a girl)
Because these women have so many other responsibilities and expectations to which they must live up, they don’t have much time for themselves. Indeed, they are being deprived of the opportunity to pursue education and a career, which could be the heart of the issue.
Women in these countries have little to no exposure to birth control methods and for that reason they are getting pregnant way too often. Because their culture believes that education for women is a waste of time and money, they are not informed of the various methods to protect themselves, their bodies, and their potential children. If they had the opportunity to receive an education, they would most likely know how to protect themselves and their families from this tradition that has spun out of control in their culture. If they were given the tools and knowledge to be in control, people would realize that women do actually have the potential to be just as powerful as men in both a family setting and a business/education setting. This is not an abstract idea; take this country for example.
Women in China and India live in fear of marrying and more importantly getting pregnant. (It’s a girl) They are conscious of the reality in which they are living and know that they are considered a minority within their society. Women are having their basic rights taken away, rights that have been defined by the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights. In particular, Article 3, which clearly defines what is being taken right out of the hands of women in this culture: “everyone has the right to life, liberty, and security of person.”(UDHR)
This idea is closely related to John Rawls’ idea of the Veil of Ignorance. He said that we should live this life as if were had been covered by a veil and when that veil was lifted we had no definition of social or economic status, we didn’t know what burdens we would be given, and we were completely equal. “The principals of justice are chosen behind a veil of ignorance.” (John) This concept is the cure, theses cultures need equality. One way the U.S. could help promote equality would be for our government to step in and provide funding for the development of women’s education, citizens of this country could individually contribute to organizations such as the “All India Women’s Conference” (AIWC) and the “All China Women’s Federation” (ACWF): organizations that fight for women’s rights and equality amongst men and women.
Word Count: 751
Artist Statement
The political issue I chose to focus on was “gendercide” and gender discrimination in Asia. My perspective on this issue is that women need to be exposed to more educational opportunities so that the disproportionate gender ratios in Asian civilizations can normalize. My poster is a picture of three little boys in their school uniforms on their way to class. In the background there is a girl dressed in rags, carrying a jug of water, and shackled to the ground, unable to go to school. The image is supposed to appeal to the emotions of my audience. The logos part of my visual is in the quote on the frame of my poster. A quote by moral philosopher John Rawls (?).
I wanted my audience to feel sorry for the girl in the background. I had to figure out a way to make her small but still keep her as the point of emphasis. She is in the top right corner, much smaller than the boys in the foreground. To add emphasis to her I added a spotlight in photoshop, fading the boys out and adding light to the girl. All parts of my image are still clearly visible but the eye is drawn to the girl in the corner.
My original idea for my poster was to have the girl stuck in a cage with the boys in the foreground on their way to school. I tried this and it looked a bit too clustered. I then tried to add a black and white filter to the girl to make her look disconnected from the rest of the picture (her world) but it seemed to make her blend in to the rest of the image. That’s when I added the spotlight to make her the point of emphasis.
I am proud of how my poster represents my perspective and how the images impacted my audience. I believe that both the image itself and the quote mixed together explain what my op-ed article is about with just a quick glance.
I wanted my audience to feel sorry for the girl in the background. I had to figure out a way to make her small but still keep her as the point of emphasis. She is in the top right corner, much smaller than the boys in the foreground. To add emphasis to her I added a spotlight in photoshop, fading the boys out and adding light to the girl. All parts of my image are still clearly visible but the eye is drawn to the girl in the corner.
My original idea for my poster was to have the girl stuck in a cage with the boys in the foreground on their way to school. I tried this and it looked a bit too clustered. I then tried to add a black and white filter to the girl to make her look disconnected from the rest of the picture (her world) but it seemed to make her blend in to the rest of the image. That’s when I added the spotlight to make her the point of emphasis.
I am proud of how my poster represents my perspective and how the images impacted my audience. I believe that both the image itself and the quote mixed together explain what my op-ed article is about with just a quick glance.
This I Believe
Write it Out
My grandfather once told me, “There will never be a line written in your journal that you regret, other than those you didn’t write.”
Before boarding a plane to Europe, I spent a week at my grandparents’ house in Georgetown, Washington DC. Preparing to load my things into the back of a taxi cab on the way to Reagan International Airport, he sat me down at the edge of the couch in a living room overflowing with knick-knacks and treasures from all over the globe. He clutched his walking cane, reached under the couch, and pulled out a cardboard box labeled “old things”. He handed me a 57-year-old leather string bound journal, I opened the front cover and read: “1956, Europe”. When he was 16, he had traveled with a group of 15 teens on a summer program called The Experiment in International Living. He recorded all of his experiences, and was now giving them to me. I was only hours away from mimicking his memories, going to the exact same place, with the same program, and under the same circumstances.
On the plane, I flipped through the pages of his journal and pictured him at the age of 16 on the journey of his life, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before I would be walking down the same cobblestone streets and sitting at the same café’s, eating the pastries he described as “The comfort food of the Gods”. I then wondered, at his age and in his condition, how much of this would he have remembered had he not written it down? I believe in the importance of saving memories, of writing them down and keeping them close.
In the short month that I was traveling, I visited three different countries: France, Spain and Andorra. I made a lifetime of new relationships and learned more than I though was possible. There were so many details about the people, places, and culture of each country that I know would be impossible for me to forget. Things like the Eiffel Tower and Antonio Gaudi’s architecture, those images are burned into my brain. But then there were the little details, like the things people said, or what was for dinner on any given night. Things that impacted me in the moment, that’s what I wished to remember. So I brought a journal with me, and wrote everything.
Now that I am home I realize how much of my trip I would have forgotten if I hadn’t put it all down on paper. It’s such a privilege for me to have a hard copy of my memories to cherish and to share. It keeps them new and makes them all the more unforgettable. My journal has become one of my most treasured belongings. And for this I only have my grandfather to thank, because he taught me: “A thought is only a thought until it is written down, then it becomes an idea; the same as a memory is only a past experience until it becomes a story on paper.” –John Duke Anthony.
Before boarding a plane to Europe, I spent a week at my grandparents’ house in Georgetown, Washington DC. Preparing to load my things into the back of a taxi cab on the way to Reagan International Airport, he sat me down at the edge of the couch in a living room overflowing with knick-knacks and treasures from all over the globe. He clutched his walking cane, reached under the couch, and pulled out a cardboard box labeled “old things”. He handed me a 57-year-old leather string bound journal, I opened the front cover and read: “1956, Europe”. When he was 16, he had traveled with a group of 15 teens on a summer program called The Experiment in International Living. He recorded all of his experiences, and was now giving them to me. I was only hours away from mimicking his memories, going to the exact same place, with the same program, and under the same circumstances.
On the plane, I flipped through the pages of his journal and pictured him at the age of 16 on the journey of his life, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before I would be walking down the same cobblestone streets and sitting at the same café’s, eating the pastries he described as “The comfort food of the Gods”. I then wondered, at his age and in his condition, how much of this would he have remembered had he not written it down? I believe in the importance of saving memories, of writing them down and keeping them close.
In the short month that I was traveling, I visited three different countries: France, Spain and Andorra. I made a lifetime of new relationships and learned more than I though was possible. There were so many details about the people, places, and culture of each country that I know would be impossible for me to forget. Things like the Eiffel Tower and Antonio Gaudi’s architecture, those images are burned into my brain. But then there were the little details, like the things people said, or what was for dinner on any given night. Things that impacted me in the moment, that’s what I wished to remember. So I brought a journal with me, and wrote everything.
Now that I am home I realize how much of my trip I would have forgotten if I hadn’t put it all down on paper. It’s such a privilege for me to have a hard copy of my memories to cherish and to share. It keeps them new and makes them all the more unforgettable. My journal has become one of my most treasured belongings. And for this I only have my grandfather to thank, because he taught me: “A thought is only a thought until it is written down, then it becomes an idea; the same as a memory is only a past experience until it becomes a story on paper.” –John Duke Anthony.
Project Reflection
This project was based off of NPR's broadcasting of "This I Believe" essays. Short personal essays that clearly depict a personal core belief. The first steps were towards understanding how a personal essay is written and the essential components they are made up of: narrative coherence, communal relevance, and authentic voice. These concepts were what helped me in writing an essay that is clear and concise, with a message that others can relate to and learn from, and that expresses who we are as people. The project started with a brainstorm of where our beliefs come from, are they influenced by our parents and the people around us? Or do we come up with them independently? Starting the writing process, one of our first assignments was to spent some time developing a credo, a few sentences that summarize a belief. I ended up using my credo as my inspiration and wrote my essay on my belief of the importance of keeping a journal. Our next assignment was to write a rough draft that would be critiqued in class by our peers. With the feedback we were given, we revised our essays and turned our final drafts in to Ashley.
When I was first introduced to the project, I thought I wanted to write about something big, like equal rights, or happiness. But then I thought that something like that was too broad of a subject, there were too many tangents I could have gone off on. I tried then to think about what makes me happy and what is important, and realized how valuable my memories are to me. The concept of memory was a bit too scientific for me to write a personal essay on so I decided to write about where I keep all of my memories: in my journal.
I am a very spontaneous and distracted writer, I often tend to start in on one topic and end with something completely different. For this essay, however, I do feel that I stuck to the story and clearly expressed my belief. I am happy with how the beginning and the end tie everything together. I start with quote from my grandfather, saying: "There will never be a line written in your journal that your regret other than those you didn't write." and end with: "A thought is only a thought until it is written down, then it becomes an idea; the same as a memory is only a past experience until it becomes a story on paper." I feel that the strongest part of my essay is the storytelling. In the first paragraph I tell the story of when my grandpa gave me his old journal and the few words advice that shaped my entire essay. With the imagery I use in these first few lines I feel that it is really easy for the reader to imagine the entire scene and feel the atmosphere of the moment.
If I were to be given more time to refine my essay I would add a bit more storytelling into the second half, I might add in one of the more significant parts of my trip to show how I record all of my thoughts. I feel that I didn't explain well enough why I think that what I believe in is important and so I would definitely try to go more in to depth with that.
Through writing this essay I learned a lot about myself. Of course, I knew that keeping a journal was something important to me but never did I imagine that I would write my "This I Believe" essay on it. Now that I have finished my paper and shaped my belief I know that what I wrote about is something that is truly important to me and I am very happy that I chose something so subtly significant to write about.
When I was first introduced to the project, I thought I wanted to write about something big, like equal rights, or happiness. But then I thought that something like that was too broad of a subject, there were too many tangents I could have gone off on. I tried then to think about what makes me happy and what is important, and realized how valuable my memories are to me. The concept of memory was a bit too scientific for me to write a personal essay on so I decided to write about where I keep all of my memories: in my journal.
I am a very spontaneous and distracted writer, I often tend to start in on one topic and end with something completely different. For this essay, however, I do feel that I stuck to the story and clearly expressed my belief. I am happy with how the beginning and the end tie everything together. I start with quote from my grandfather, saying: "There will never be a line written in your journal that your regret other than those you didn't write." and end with: "A thought is only a thought until it is written down, then it becomes an idea; the same as a memory is only a past experience until it becomes a story on paper." I feel that the strongest part of my essay is the storytelling. In the first paragraph I tell the story of when my grandpa gave me his old journal and the few words advice that shaped my entire essay. With the imagery I use in these first few lines I feel that it is really easy for the reader to imagine the entire scene and feel the atmosphere of the moment.
If I were to be given more time to refine my essay I would add a bit more storytelling into the second half, I might add in one of the more significant parts of my trip to show how I record all of my thoughts. I feel that I didn't explain well enough why I think that what I believe in is important and so I would definitely try to go more in to depth with that.
Through writing this essay I learned a lot about myself. Of course, I knew that keeping a journal was something important to me but never did I imagine that I would write my "This I Believe" essay on it. Now that I have finished my paper and shaped my belief I know that what I wrote about is something that is truly important to me and I am very happy that I chose something so subtly significant to write about.